WoW i need to update this thing more often than once every... well its been to long time!! much has happend. but lets start off with good news and i'll work my way to even better news.lol lets see, over the last few weeks the guys and I have been bustting our butts trying to get this house done, now that it has to be done by january 20th what are they thinking really? there is 5 of us woring on this thing and we have 20 working days left and yea were still putting mud on the walls.. and the best part is half of us are going to be gone for a week or 2 so yea i dont know how we are going to get it done on time i think the board members need to lear to start saying no and to tell ppl that the cant come down yet because we have 6 new ppl joining us this january and we are suposed to have the house ready for everyone to move into but i really dont think its going ot happen. we're working 9-5 somtimes 7 and saturdays now to just to try and get this thing done its killing us. and the best part about it its all 4 girls and 2 guys  so yea.

and today we just bought the house next to the guys house and its trashed so yeahh... thats one more project to do now, on top of that we are adding on to the spanish house right after we get done with  this house we are working on now so  how we are going to work this out  with the house we just bought i have no idea, all i know its going to be crazy the next 6 months.

for all of you who know that i dont drive i have great news i was finely able to take my classes to get my license back and i pessed it! so now all i have to do is wait till the end of this month so i can get my insurance so i can do everything that needs to be done, so i can drive again. so if you all could pray that all goes well and that i dont have any complications along the way, that would be great. one to the next thing cuz that one was probly boring you. lol  on the other hand, everything in my life right now is great my walk with God is Great i'm learning more and more every day that i'm here i'm making more friends that i would have ever thought i would ever have in my life. God has just been a blessing to me sence i moved down here.  theres not a day that goes by that i dont regret that my accedent happend if that would have never happend then i would have never ended up walking so close to God. its suce a releef to know that when i wake up everyday, knowing that i'm going to be come a stronger christain today than i was yesterday. i'm in awe of the work that God does in our lives everyday even though we dont see it  he does. the ppl here have been a blessing to me i thank God every day for my friends at nmsi and at church they show me so much, and teach me just as much.

It's said, that a foolish man builds his houes upon the sand, and a wise man builds his house upon the rocks, well with out the Lord and Friends there would be no rocks only sand.

If you read this say I.. and leave a message...

lol well this week has indeed been a good week D-willy and i finished the dry-wall today. it only took 3 weeks thats what i get for only having 2 ppl work on it. things have been going great for me, ever sence i started reading this book, tHe 10 commaNDmeNts of  DatiNg (Time-Tested laws for Building Successful Relationships) By Ben young & DR.Samuel Adams. its kind of weird how i have come to read this book. it was recommended to me by my friend Amanda. we've been through the same kind of relationsship in the past. so she thought i might be intrested in it. now for thoes of you who know me know that i never just pick up a book and read, well this time i did and i'm glad i did this time. this book showed me alot of things that i needed to be showen. and i have God to thank for this, He has been showing me so much in the past few months than ever before.

Give it all to God and he will bless you with much inreturn. People had been telling me this for years but i just ignored them. i was dumb and blind for that. but now i'm learning and, openning my eyes so i can see what God has given me. i still have far to go and much to learn along this path, that He is taking me down and its worth it.

I just found out today that my grandmothers car was broken into last night. you know that really makes me mad, because that was her freedom. how would you feel if some one was to take away the only thing that got you out of the house? i mean shes 80 years old but still... she was independent,  she went to her doctors appoentments and the store you know the little things that got her out of the house. well now she cant do that. she has to rely on ppl to take her every where. i know what thats like and its not fun at all it makes you feel like, your a prisoner in your own house untill some one comes to get you.

i glad that the caught the 3 guys who did this, what idiots do they not realise that the car they were about to take was the most noticable car in the parking lot? i mean come on it had grey primer patches all over it and its a white car... duh.. lol well i'm just glad that they have to pay for it to get it fixed so my grandmother gets her freedom back.

me on the other hand.. well its just been another day. oh and by the way i applied for this job last week, at  palm city plumbing and had an interview the same day. so the guy ysaid that he will contact me by the end of the week and if he doesnt then for me to give him a call so when i went to call him the number on the buisness card didnt work i even went to the phone book and it was the same number  so yea thanks for the job so tomorrow its back to looking  but i think that god closed this door for a reason. and so i shall keep looking. and to end this note i know have 4 $ to my name, lets see how long i can make 4 bucks last till i can get ahold of somemore money.

things in the personal life i think is going good. god has shown me a lot of things lately but there is till one thing that still unclear to me  and i think that its just something that i need to keep praying about, because i'm really confused about it and i'm not really sure how to handle the situation when i'm around them(her). they already made it clear to me how they would like it to be but something keeps telling me not to let it go just do as they wish and pray for the best. because they did say i think we should just be.... for now. and so i am going to respect it. and their an awesome friend. always wanting to help out but i want there to be more, but something in me also just wants to stay... so its just really confusing right now. but i think with a little prayer i think we can manage through this.

does it ever seem like you can never stop the thoughts that go through your mind. its like everything just comes at you at once, and makes it so hard. and it gets you all down becaus eit seems like the whole world is coming down on you? it happends to me all the time. its like theres nothing that can make it all go away. but there is, every one has this abilaty its the one thing that makes you put a smile on your face when you think about it. For example: i'll use my happy thought, its when i'm driving my car even though i cant drive  i still have that memory in my mind and when i was able to drive i was free i didnt have a care in the world i was able to see the world in a defferent way i was able to be me. i became myself. i didnt have to worry about something that i had to do or something that i hadnt done.  no one around yelling at me no bosses, no one just me i was responsable for myself. and thats what gets all thoughts out of my head that makes me all deppressed and worried about everything. so find your happy thoughts.  and you'll know what its like to be free. 

another thing is, God  was a big part of what made me happy because if that night would have never happend and if i never would have rolled my car i dont know where i would be right now or how misearable i would be.  For all of you who dont know what i'm talking about  go back to the beginning.. to the first entry that i made and read up till today it wont take you as long as you think it will, besides if you really want to get to know me this is a good place to start. but remember never judge a book by its cover. look at the persons heart and then deside for yourself. 

Wow it's been awhile sence i was last  on here typing away at this thing  telling about my life well theres so much to tell but not enough time to tell it  lol. i finlly changed my pic see look its that some old one that i've had forever. lol but its the best that i got of me. well alot of you dont know that i have moved once again this time to Fort Myers Florida.

and i also have changed my life almost a complete 180 from where i was if you would say. the ppl that i live with are great they have all taught me so much and showed me how to be me again. they showed me how to have fun again its weird how you can forget how to be you, and turn in to someone that your not and the funny thing about that is that it can happen over night and you not even know it. its kind of scary if you tink about it because everyone around you can see it but you and you dont know why everone is looking at you like that and treating you defferently untill some one comes forward and says something to you . then you have to relize it your self that youve changed. and most of the time you dont want to belive that you changed and when you do it hits you like a brick wall and you fall apart. because you look back on it and you think what did i do because along the way you hurt so many ppl and lost good friends. but God will alays be there for you  and you have to give it all up to him because if you dont, then your lost.  it takes time and God and the right kind of ppl to help you turn your life around. it just doesnt happen over night like we want it to. but if you want it to happen you have to make it happen nothing fixes its self. but just remember that God  is always there no matter what the situation is no matter how big the problem is. you just have to give it all  to God and you cant hold anything back from him you have to give it all to him and that includes yourself.